In my observation, good communication skills are under rated. How do we get through life with any success if we cannot express our true nature?
What I mean by “good communicating” is to speak up in a manner so others can not only hear what was said but also understand it. We communicate verbally and also through the written word. I’ve worked to develop my skill in writing since 2008 when I began my health column in the Observer. It’s almost easier to write than it is to speak. This may be why our smart phones have texting and email capabilities!
Let’s focus on speaking…We speak to interact with others for specific reasons. As babies, our parents are thrilled with our first words mama and dada. After that, we are left somewhat on our own learning what we learn from those we spent the most time with.
Thinking back to high school, I remember having to write English essays but it was not often in the studies to get up in front of others to speak. We did raise our hands to ask questions but it’s not the same. If we did get up in front of the class to give an oral report, I don’t remember (I’m a baby boomer) having any instruction on how to stand, project the voice, where to look or not look or how to hold my arms and hands in front of a group. We’d be graded only on content and again, we are back to writing! Where, if ever, did we learn speaking skills – not in K through 12 during my education.
So how does one develop good social or speaking skills? For me it was trial and error because I really wanted to do it. I wasn’t in the majority, however. Many children were afraid and shamed when they could not speak up or perform. This doesn’t really empower anyone at any age.
Glossophobia or speech anxiety is the fear of public speaking or speaking in general. The word is Greek – glossa meaning tongue and phobos – fear or dread. Many only have this particular fear, while others may also have social phobia or social anxiety disorder.
*intense anxiety prior to or even the thought of having to verbally communicate with any group.
*avoidance of events which focus the groups attention on individuals in attendance.
*physical distress, nausea or feelings of panic in such circumstances.
It is estimated that 75% of all people experience some degree of anxiety or nervousness when speaking in public.
The physical manifestations of panic, fear and anxiety do not promote a healthy life. The body goes into fight or flight mode and changes chemically due to adrenaline secretion. If this lasts for a prolonged period of time, cortisol levels (the death hormone) rise and an acidic environment is created in the body that promotes disease as well as feeling depressed with poor quality of life.
Other related Phobias:
Atychiphobia – fear of failure
Anthropophobia – fear of people
Gelotophobia – fear of being laughed at
Panphobia – fear of everything
Philophobia – fear of love
Phobophobia – fear of having a phobia
Sociophobia – fear of social situations
Scopophobia – fear of being stared at
If you occasionally get nervous in these situations, it doesn’t mean you have a disorder or a phobia. However, if it gets in the way of everyday functioning, it’s important to seek professional help. There are many therapists (LMFT’s) who can be of tremendous assistance. We are now back to communication, so call me if you’d like a referral.
Make a Paradigm Shift
Paradigms are messages we get from the past that are taken as truths either from our childhood or even from generations past. These messages shape our logic. Logic can be an energetic block when left unchecked or questioned. If we change our perception we can change our life. Yes, we can break out of the old beliefs when we identify where they might have originated and reprogram with new and empowering belief systems.
Here are some helpful tips I’ve used to relax and have a more successful presentation:
Breathing Technique – take a deep breath in through the nose, relax your jaw and exhale through an open mouth. Do this at least 3 to 5 times. Repeat as needed to feel your entire body start to relax.
Quick Meditation – close your eyes and picture yourself up in front of the group, calm, relaxed and confident. See the crowd smiling and applauding your wonderful talk.
Essential Oils - Pure Therapeutic Grade only…
Peppermint Oil – may help with laryngitis, sinus inflammation, and calming the throat.
Lavender – to relax, calm nerves and aid in neck or headaches.
Valor Oil Blend – to balance the body and to use for promoting courage!
Find your Joy – just do it!
“The more intentional I am in my communications, the more results I’ll get!”
I was given this quote above by a public speaking coach and inspirational speaker. I strive for it each day in my personal life as well as in business.
As adults, we seek out professionals who can help us attain our personal and business goals. There are organizations we can join to gain more experience and training such as Toastmasters, POWERtalk or Association of Speakers Clubs. Also, the right business coach can actually take us to the next level with one-on- one sessions and group workshops. Believe it or not, it can also be FUN ;)
If you’d like to explore more about how to find your true voice, please join us on Wed. Sept. 19th from 6:45 to 8:30 PM.
4th of a 12-month series on Natural Health and Healing Ideas
Sharon the Health Presents:
Get Over it! Experience the Joy of Speaking Up
Special Guest, Michael Neuendorff, Public Speaking Coach
Florey’s Book Company
2120 Palmetto Ave.
Pacifica, CA 94044
RSVP ASAP! This will fill up fast. Space is limited! Call Sharon 650.359.6579
or email firstname.lastname@example.org
"The views expressed are those of the writer. If you have any questions about your health, you should always consult with your doctor.